[Lucky to be alive? Oh boy. He feels like he's about to unpack so much here. But, it has to be done. So deep breath in and then out, he decides he's ready. He is ready for any of this.]
I think it might help if I hear what happened before. I know you're scared of me hating you but I think you have to think about if that matters more or if he does.
(( He's gonna do his best to sugar coat this. Vegas closes his eyes and hugs the pillow closer. Deep breath. ))
My people caught Pete spying in our compound. His interference brought all my carefully laid plans crashing down. So I tortured him. Not because he had anything useful; I just wanted him to suffer.
(( another long, ragged breath. ))
We ended up alone in a safehouse 'cause my dad threw me under the bus. Pete's injuries got infected and he almost died. I dunno, after that... we really saw each other. We ended up in bed together. It was... the first time someone chose me, all of me. The real me. I think that's true for him, too.
But nothing changed the fact that he was still a prisoner. When he ran away, I was crushed.
The minor family stormed the major family's compound. We ran into each other during the fight... And after, when Dad was dead and there was nothing left... Pete kept me from eating my gun. After I got shot... Things get a little foggy. I just know every time I woke up in the hospital, he was there.
[Piecing things together he is pretty sure he can get a whole picture. They'd started off as enemies but something happened that made them both see each other for who they really are. Past the enemies and past darkness. They saw each others hearts.
But Vegas had probably been too scared to let Pete go so Pete had run. Then Pete had needed time to question things about himself and his feelings before deciding he couldn't live without Vegas.
Yikes. These two could do with a lot of therapy but he knows that's not...really an option here.
(( That's when the tears started anew. Vegas' body shuddered from the silent sobs. It wasn't even because he felt bad for him, at least not entirely. More than that, it was shame and regret and the devastation of knowing he'd hurt Pete. ))
[Riley sighs and goes to move to sit on the couch, tugging the pillow away and encouraging Vegas to hold him instead. The pillow has seen enough tears and guilt for today.]
And he threw you out because you crossed that line?
[Take his choices away again. That...implies a lot of stuff. None of it good. Riley gets those arms wrapped around him so Vegas can cling to him instead.]
What you did was really stupid, P'Vegas. More than really stupid. But right now you can't run after him. You have to give him space because he's hurting too.
(( Oh, this wasn't the first time. But it's the worst.
He settled for wrapping his arms around Riley's waist and laying his head in the Fae's lap. Vegas honestly didn't want to see the disappointment he's sure was on Riley's face. He deserved it, but right now he was too busy dealing with own conflicting feelings. Someone hurt Pete and there was nothing he could do about it because that someone was him. Wallowing in guilt was self-indulgent. What he was feeling was the suffocating grief of a loss he caused himself. ))
Not stupid, nong. Vile, wicked. Evil.
(( He sucked in another ragged breath. Poor Riley's pantleg was going to be a mess if he let Vegas sit there too long. ))
I've seen real evil, phi. Real evil doesn't hold regrets or guilt for the things they do. What you did was stupid. And maybe it was vile too. But evil? No. Otherwise you wouldn't look like this.
[He knows his clothes are going to end up soaked by the end of this but he doesn't care. He stays right where he is and lets Vegas cling. And if he needs to cry he'll stay here too. Because stupid though his brother is, he's an idiot who needs someone to listen to him.]
It's hard for him to be without you too. He looks like a zombie when he thinks no one is looking. You two really need each other but you have to go to him on his terms, okay?
(( If he could just manage to stay holed up here... Then they'd both be alright, right? Pete would have his space and Vegas wouldn't be in danger of violating his boundaries again. It sounded so easy, but Pete was like some kind of magnet, always pulling Vegas toward him. ))
[He pets his hair gently. This is such a disaster. It's so clear these two are a mess even without this incident. But all he can do is be supportive because there's nothing he can do to fix this obviously. And no matter what happened in detail? Vegas regrets it and Pete needs him. Both those things say so much to him.]
Nong, I don't know that I'm a strong enough man to stay away...
(( Vegas buries his face against Riley's leg, just shuddering at this point. He swears he's cried all the fluid out of his body. It certainly feels that way. ))
Well you're going to have to eat anyway. If not for you then you have to eat for P'Pete. If you're not taking care of yourself for when he's ready for you then how are you going to take care of him, hm?
[Riley knows that he can't fully logic with Vegas right now. But what he can do is give him a reminder of who needs him.]
(( Riley's right. Logic is pretty meaningless to Vegas right now. However, the approach the Fae chose is a more effective one. Vegas grunted and waved vaguely toward the small kitchen in the apartment. ))
Soup.
(( He and Pete don't keep the place stocked with a lot of fresh foods, but there's plenty of tea, canned goods, and some dry goods. Things that won't go bad in a week if they're not there to eat them. ))
[He agrees to that and gently frees himself so that way he can go to search through the kitchen for everything he needs, turning on the light in there. It doesn't take long before he comes back with some tea and a bowl of hot soup.]
Time to sit up. You've got to keep yourself fed for him.
(( It doesn't take any effort to get free of Vegas' hold. He listened to Riley in the kitchen, doing nothing until the little Fae came back and urged him up. Vegas huffs and pushes himself up, slumping back against the couch. Looking at the bowl and the cup of tea, he then glances up Riley. ))
Yep. But focus on the soup. If you don't finish the tea I will.
[Somehow. He's not a fan of unsweetened tea because it can be his least favorite thing...bitter. But for now he takes the soup and holds it out for him.]
(( Vegas has no appetite, but he spoons the soup into his mouth anyway so Riley won’t have anything to fuss over. He finished maybe half before handing the bowl back to Riley to exchange it for the tea. ))
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(( It's a quiet, shameful grumble into the pillow. No, he didn't want the Fae to think poorly of him. Or more poorly... ))
I fucked up, nong. Worse than before...
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Worse?
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I think it might help if I hear what happened before. I know you're scared of me hating you but I think you have to think about if that matters more or if he does.
[What a terrible place to be in honestly.]
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(( He's gonna do his best to sugar coat this. Vegas closes his eyes and hugs the pillow closer. Deep breath. ))
My people caught Pete spying in our compound. His interference brought all my carefully laid plans crashing down. So I tortured him. Not because he had anything useful; I just wanted him to suffer.
(( another long, ragged breath. ))
We ended up alone in a safehouse 'cause my dad threw me under the bus. Pete's injuries got infected and he almost died. I dunno, after that... we really saw each other. We ended up in bed together. It was... the first time someone chose me, all of me. The real me. I think that's true for him, too.
But nothing changed the fact that he was still a prisoner. When he ran away, I was crushed.
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How did you two end up together if he ran away?
CW: MENTION OF SUICIDAL IDEATION/ATTEMPT
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But Vegas had probably been too scared to let Pete go so Pete had run. Then Pete had needed time to question things about himself and his feelings before deciding he couldn't live without Vegas.
Yikes. These two could do with a lot of therapy but he knows that's not...really an option here.
Okay then.]
What happened with him this time?
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I crossed a line.
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And he threw you out because you crossed that line?
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I dunno what to do... Instinct says to run after him but... I don't want to take his choices away again.
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What you did was really stupid, P'Vegas. More than really stupid. But right now you can't run after him. You have to give him space because he's hurting too.
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He settled for wrapping his arms around Riley's waist and laying his head in the Fae's lap. Vegas honestly didn't want to see the disappointment he's sure was on Riley's face. He deserved it, but right now he was too busy dealing with own conflicting feelings. Someone hurt Pete and there was nothing he could do about it because that someone was him. Wallowing in guilt was self-indulgent. What he was feeling was the suffocating grief of a loss he caused himself. ))
Not stupid, nong. Vile, wicked. Evil.
(( He sucked in another ragged breath. Poor Riley's pantleg was going to be a mess if he let Vegas sit there too long. ))
It's so hard, Riley... Being without him.
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[He knows his clothes are going to end up soaked by the end of this but he doesn't care. He stays right where he is and lets Vegas cling. And if he needs to cry he'll stay here too. Because stupid though his brother is, he's an idiot who needs someone to listen to him.]
It's hard for him to be without you too. He looks like a zombie when he thinks no one is looking. You two really need each other but you have to go to him on his terms, okay?
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I'll try...
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[He pets his hair gently. This is such a disaster. It's so clear these two are a mess even without this incident. But all he can do is be supportive because there's nothing he can do to fix this obviously. And no matter what happened in detail? Vegas regrets it and Pete needs him. Both those things say so much to him.]
Have you eaten today?
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(( Vegas buries his face against Riley's leg, just shuddering at this point. He swears he's cried all the fluid out of his body. It certainly feels that way. ))
'm not hungry.
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[Riley knows that he can't fully logic with Vegas right now. But what he can do is give him a reminder of who needs him.]
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Soup.
(( He and Pete don't keep the place stocked with a lot of fresh foods, but there's plenty of tea, canned goods, and some dry goods. Things that won't go bad in a week if they're not there to eat them. ))
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[He agrees to that and gently frees himself so that way he can go to search through the kitchen for everything he needs, turning on the light in there. It doesn't take long before he comes back with some tea and a bowl of hot soup.]
Time to sit up. You've got to keep yourself fed for him.
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Both for me?
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[Somehow. He's not a fan of unsweetened tea because it can be his least favorite thing...bitter. But for now he takes the soup and holds it out for him.]
Eat.
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(( The soup, maybe not, but he won't make Riley drink something he doesn't like. But Vegas reaches out to take the offered soup. ))
Can you just hold it for me for a little?
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[Making himself comfortable, he holds the tea for him while he lets Vegas start on the soup.]
Go slow and take your time.
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You don’t have to stay, nong.
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